Dear Colleagues and Friends,
What does it mean to feel a sense of belonging? Whether you are a district leader, a school principal, or a classroom teacher, as you prepare for the new school year, no doubt you are wondering about how to create a culture that is designed for belonging.
Researchers Roy F. Baumeister and Mark R. Leary first proposed the concept of belonging in their 1995 paper, “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation.” They believed humans have an innate drive to develop and maintain lasting, positive relationships with other people. To gain the benefits and sense of belonging, they must have positive interactions with the same people on a regular basis, and feel cared for by them.
We now know that the pain of not belonging is actually akin to the hurt experienced through physical injury or illness; both register in the same part of the brain known as the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex. This absolutely stopped me in my tracks when I first studied the research. In other words, a sense of belonging is literally felt in the body. Just as it’s tough to learn with a throbbing toothache, it is tough to learn when feeling rejected or out of place. Turns out the old maxim “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” has been wrong all along.
We know – and many of you have heard me say – that belonging is a precursor to achievement. Many of you are familiar with the term, “stereotype threat,” a psychological pressure people feel when they fear their performance might confirm a negative stereotype about their social group. This worry causes high stress and anxiety, which takes up mental space and often leads to worse performance on tests or tasks.
As Jenna Chandler-Ward reminded us last week at our ECLC Leadership Teams Retreat Day, belonging is not just being “nice.” Belonging gives students a feeling of security, identity, and community, which supports their academic, psychological, and social development. Feeling a sense of belonging makes students more likely to perform better academically, be more motivated in school, and more likely to pursue further education. As importantly, students who feel a sense of belonging are less likely to engage in risky and antisocial behavior.
How do we know if we are successfully building cultures of belonging? It’s natural to assume that what we as adults need is the same as what students need. But needs may differ across individuals and across the diverse backgrounds of our students. It’s critical, therefore, that we ask students a simple question at the beginning of the year: “What do you need to feel a sense of belonging?” and use that as a baseline for establishing school and classroom culture. Checking in with students regularly throughout the school year (informally or through a survey) about how they’re feeling is an important way to ensure that our aspirations as educators are aligned with their daily experiences.
In their book, Belonging Through a Culture of Dignity, Floyd Cobb and John Krownapple suggest specific ways to build a sense of belonging in schools:
- Share personal stories so that people humanize one another and feel seen.
- Affirm people and teach self-affirmation techniques to increase acceptance and counter marginalization.
- Practice perspective taking to decrease stereotypes and increase social bonds.
- Facilitate collaborative group work to help people feel connected and develop favorable views of one another.
- Greet people as they arrive to help them feel welcome, increase engagement, and decrease disruptive behavior.
Belonging is also essential for adults in the workplace. How do we build an adult culture that is collaborative and appreciative? How might we widen the lens on who “fits in”? When adults collaborate effectively, students benefit. They feel it palpably, even if not consciously.
I would love to hear how you plan to build a sense of belonging in your school this year. Please email me directly at jfeinberg@powerofplacelc.org
In connection,
Jane